Today I was sitting at my desk writing about a point from my day. As I wrote out the details of this point, I noticed that my experience in relation to the point was actually intensifying. A moment then happened where I thought about stopping the writing and just jumping over to entertainment or checking my facebook as a point to just settle down a bit. Here however I observed that if I were to do that, that I wouldn’t actually be resolving anything but rather just distracting myself from my inner experience which I realize and understand is not a Solution and would rather just keep the point cycling around within myself.
So I thought this was a cool moment to write about because it revealed this aspect of myself how I keep myself actually trapped within my mind, within my emotional reactions by distracting and essentially supressing my experience by diverting my attention into media entertainment.
So in this moment I saw this distraction design and so instead I just remained within what I was doing which was writing, and opening up the point and overall, just remaining HERE with and as my experience instead of wanting to and trying to run from it, hide from it, distract myself from it.
Within listening to the many interviews on the Eqafe website I have encountered this explanation about how energy functions where when you focus on energy it will actually for a moment intensify as one intensifies ones focus upon which was what I was doing tonight as I decided to sit down and write about this point/event that happened during the day and in this exploring and investigating the emotions and energies that was coming up within me in relation to this event.
And so when that energy started intensifying and I started feeling overwhelmed and frustrated, this awareness came up within me of this point of how “energy intensifies if you focus on it” that I have herd explained in different Eqafe Interviews and so I rather decided to remain HERE and continue writing and rather move myself to direct myself and the energy instead of immediately trying to distract myself from it.
Now, things didn’t come to a nice and tidy resolution but I do see how I can continue to support myself this way within my life and process where I essentially learn and develop the ability to face what is going on within me instead of wanting to distract myself from it. And so instead of distracting myself from it, I can Face it and learn more about it and how it moves within me. Which is the process of me learning about me.
So I thought I would share this small moment from today where I a simply decided to change my usual pattern of distraction and rather allow an experience to be here within me as a point of learning more about it and learning to direct it and myself into a point of Resolution…or at least give myself the option to do this which I immediately close off when I channel my attention into entertainment when ever I am overwhelmed with a reaction or inner experience.
So it was a small moment, just an inch forward into a New, more supportive pattern/action, but that is better than nothing.
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